


Just Let Go

by cherryandmapletrees



Series: The Milkshake Guild [4]
Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Archeryl - Freeform, Charchie, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, letting go of the past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-09-02 22:27:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16795969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryandmapletrees/pseuds/cherryandmapletrees
Summary: Cheryl has to let go of her past to secure her future.





	Just Let Go

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks yet again to my darling Mama Cyd (squids and shrugheadjonesthethird) for being my wonderful beta and to her and the rest of my discord family for letting me send them eight thousand aesthetics until I was pleased with my end result.
> 
> WARNING: Please read the tags before continuing, as this fic is rated M whereas the others of The Milkshake Guild series have been a T. This fic is mainly Cheryl finally coming to terms with Jason's death, and it mentions this, her parents abuse towards her, and her attempted suicide.
> 
> That said, please enjoy and please, write a comment <3

_ A series of disorienting images and feelings flashed across her mind, trapping her in a hell of her own creation. The last time she’d seen Jason alive, as they rowed across the river to his supposed safety, had ended in his death. The cold of the water that she had jumped into as the final part of the ruse. The heart crushing news that his body had been found in Sweetwater River with a bullet wound through the forehead. The awful realization that, once again, she’d have to mourn her dear brother, but this time it would be real.  _

_ Her dear Jason was gone, never to return to her, never again to take the brunt of their parents abuse to save her. _

_ And then, the shocking cold as the ice of Sweetwater River broke beneath her feet as she faced the people trying to draw her to the shore, to save her. The ice she had been trying to break betrayed her at the moment her foot moved forward to go to the shore, shattering beneath her and surrendering her to the icy depths of the river. The same river that, even though he had died elsewhere, had eventually claimed the body of her brother, bringing their plan to an awful fruition. _

_ So now would it claim her, both the Blossom twins lost to the river. _

\--

Cheryl jerked awake, air strangled in her chest in a scream. Her chest seemed locked down, unable to draw in a breath, and her hands lifted to comb through her hair, pulling it back from her face. Her face was wet where her fingers brushed it, she must have been crying in her sleep. The same hellish nightmare that had plagued her for months had returned, forcing her to relive the worst part of her life.

She blindly reached out for her phone, her nerves settling the slightest bit at the picture of her and Archie she had as her lockscreen. Her fingers were still shaking as she opened up the messaging app, tapping his name to open the conversation.

**_HBIC🍒:_ ** _ Archie? Are you awake? _

His response was almost immediate, and she wondered if he’d been awake or if he’d woken up when she had texted him.

**_Archie dear💋:_ ** _ I am now. What’s up?  _

**_HBIC🍒:_ ** _ I can’t sleep… I’m sorry if I woke you up. _

Her phone rang then, his contact photo filling her screen. She hesitated a moment before she answered, bringing the phone to her ear.

“Hey Cher. What’s wrong?” His voice was heavy with sleep but filled with concern and it soothed her further, a soft sigh escaping her.

“I uh--” she cleared her throat, trying to calm herself, “--I had a dream...about… about Jason and the river.” Her voice broke on her brother’s name, a flash of grief squeezing her chest tight.

“When you say the river, which memory do you mean? When you and Jason rowed across? Or when they told you they’d found his body?”

“Both. And when I--” she paused, not wanting to say the words  _ tried to kill myself _ out loud.

“When you fell.” He saved her, like he always did. She heard rustling from his end, and assumed he’d sat up in bed. After that, it went quiet. She could only hear his rhythmic breathing on the line, and she matched hers to it, feeling her heartbeat slow even more from its erratic pace. 

He went quiet for so long she almost worried he’d fallen back asleep before he spoke again, his voice low and quiet. 

“Sounds like you have a lot of bad memories at Sweetwater River.” She choked in a half laugh, half sob.

“I suppose you could say that, yes.” She could almost hear him thinking, the pattern of his breath shifting slightly, speeding up the slightest bit.

“Than let’s make some good ones. Get up, get dressed. Something warm.” 

“Darling, it’s two in the morning.” He chuckled on his end of the line, even more rustling as he apparently climbed out of bed and searched for clothes.

“I know, angel. Hence the ‘dress warm’ part. I’ll be over to get you in about a half hour. And Cheryl?”

“Yes, Archie?”

“Bring the dress. The white one with the red sash. Don’t wear it, just bring it. And a blanket from Jason’s room.” She shook her head in confusion even though she knew he couldn’t see her, her mind scrambling to figure out why he was asking this of her.

“Archie…”

“Cheryl. Do you trust me?”

“You know I do.”

“Than bring the dress. I’ll see you in a bit. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” She pulled the phone away from her ear after the line went dead, staring at the black screen for a moment before she managed to get herself to get out of bed. 

She blindly grabbed for the first clothes she could find-- jeans, a red shirt, and her brown leather coat. Her fingers stroked gently over the spider brooch on her dresser, a gift from Jason when they were twelve. She pinned it on, steeling herself. 

The wardrobe where she kept the white dress she’d worn the last time she saw Jason was against the left wall, and she tried not to open it more than necessary. She did so now, pulling out the dress and running her fingers over the fabric before turning to set it on the bed. 

Jason’s room at Thistle House was smaller than the one at Thornhill, but he had still kept some things here. They both had; they’d often come here as children to escape their parents for a few days. Walking into this room was like walking back in time, and for a moment, she felt as if he was still with her.

She was still standing, silent, with tears running down her face, in the center of the room when the doorbell rang twenty minutes later. Rapidly, she wiped her face dry and snatched up the blanket folded at the end of his bed and grabbed the dress from her own bed, draping both over her arm. She practically ran down the stairs, pulling the front door open to see Archie standing there, his hands shoved into his varsity jacket pockets. He smiled when he saw her, his eyes lightening when they met hers.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” She smiled back up at him, laughing slightly when he offered her his arm. 

“I borrowed my dad’s truck. He’s off today, so he shouldn’t need it. And I think he said something about going over to FP’s trailer for something.” He took the blanket and the dress from her when they reached the truck, laying them gently into the backseat before helping her into the passenger side.

“So, where are we going on this little adventure?” He hoisted himself up in the driver’s seat, grinning at her as he started it and turned out of Thistle House’s driveway towards the woods. 

“We’re going to Sweetwater. To make some good memories, and to get rid of some bad ones. I stopped at Pop’s. It’s a good thing he’s open 24 hours or I’d have had to show up empty handed.”

“Milkshakes? Since that's sort of our thing now?”

“Coffee. Seemed like this was a hot coffee sort of adventure instead.” She nodded, her fingers twisting and untwisting the ends of her hair. 

It was a comfortable silence as he drove to the river, but she couldn’t help but remember the last times she’d made a drive down here like this. He seemed to sense where her mind had gone, and he reached out to squeeze her knee gently, offering comfort.

When they stopped, she felt her chest start to tighten again, and he turned towards her once the keys were out of the ignition, cupping her face in his hands. 

“Relax, Cher. It’ll be ok, I promise. I’m right here with you, nothing will happen this time.” She nodded slightly, forcing herself to draw in a deeper breath. 

His lips met hers gently, and she melted against him, her arms winding around his neck. He pulled away from her after a moment, his thumbs tracing along her cheekbones. 

“I trust you. Thank you.” He smiled softly and kissed her one more time before sliding out of the truck and grabbing something out of the back seat. He came around to the passenger side and helped her down, offering his arm for her to brace herself on as she hopped down. 

“Grab the blanket and the dress, okay?” Cheryl nodded and reached behind the seat, holding them both to her chest. 

He took her hand in his as they walked closer to the river, squeezing gently when he felt her footsteps falter the closer they got. They stopped far enough away that she could still breathe relatively easily, the fear not quite constricting her chest just yet. 

He gently pulled the blanket from her grasp, allowing her to still crush the dress to her chest. She watched as he carefully set it to the side before pulling another blanket from beneath his arm and spreading it out on the ground and held his hand out for her to sit slowly. 

Once she was properly situated, he handed her a burger from the bag and a takeout cup of coffee. She wrapped her hands around the cup, inhaling the comforting scent of the freshly brewed coffee and vanilla creamer, her favorite.

“You know my favorite thing about Jason?” She stared at him, smiling the slightest bit. 

“What?”

Archie leaned back on his elbows, his legs stretched out in front of him, his left hand resting on her right thigh with his thumb gently tracing the inside. 

“He was the varsity quarterback and the leader of the water polo team. He was basically the big man on campus, he could have done anything he wanted and he would never have gotten in trouble. But he didn't. He was never an asshole. I mean, he'd definitely  _ act _ like a jock when the team was around, but if you got him on his own, he was always really nice. He gave me pointers on my throw a few times.” A soft smile curved his lips, and a matching one lifted hers as she watched him, her eyes tracing over his features.

“That was my dear Jason. Always willing to lend a helping hand. He always protected me. No matter what.” Her voice caught on a sob, her shoulders curving inward as she gave herself over to her grief in a way she’d never allowed herself to before. 

Archie sat up and pulled her into his arms, and she instantly leaned into his touch. One arm wrapped around her, holding her to him as his other hand lifted, stroking slowly through her hair as she cried.

“I know, angel. I know. He was good to everyone, but especially to you. Anyone could see it, his world revolved around you, making sure you were okay. Now, that’s my job, and I promise you I will do my very best to protect you just as much as he did.”

She managed to sob out a quiet  _ thank you _ into his shoulder and he nodded, pulling her into his lap and rocking her back and forth gently.

She didn’t know how long they stayed like that, him whispering soft words of love and comfort into her ears, until she cried herself dry. She stayed in his arms for a while longer until his voice broke the quiet.

“Cheryl, I need you to trust me for this next part, okay?” She nodded numbly, lifting her head from his shoulder to look up at him. He reached slowly for the dress she’d set to the side, pulling back slightly when she grabbed for it in a panic. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Her voice was suddenly razor sharp and ice cold, her eyes snapping with anger. He raised his hands slowly, cupping her cheek gently. 

“All of your worst memories are tied to this river, to this dress. You need to give it up, let go of it.” Panic clawed up her throat at the thought of losing the last thing of Jason she had left, her chest constricting.

“No.”

“Cheryl…”

“ _ No!  _ This is  _ all I have left.  _ Why would you make me get rid of it? Why would you do that to me?” She shifted to get up, to get away from him, but he grabbed her arm, pulling her back towards him, his eyes filled with concern.

“Angel, this isn’t all you have left of him. This is one of your last physical memories of him, but this isn’t all you have. He’s everywhere around you, Cheryl. He’s in the house you live in, in the halls of the school, he’s here at the river. And most of all, he’s still inside of you. You two were twins, and believe me, as long as you’re still here, so is he. I promise you, this dress is not all that’s left of him. It’s what’s left of your memories of his death, his funeral, and when you almost died. Don’t you want to get rid of those bad memories so only the good is left?” 

She allowed herself the slightest of nods, staring up at him, her eyes wide and panicked still. He stood and held his hand out, and she tried to force her breathing to steady itself before she took his hand and allowed him to help her stand, her right arm still clutching the dress to her chest.

He was patient with her as they walked to the river, going at her pace, and he didn’t get frustrated when she backed up a few steps, afraid to let go. Afraid to let go of the one thing that still made her feel like Jason was with her, of the last thing he’d ever seen her in. The dress she’d been wearing when she had tried to give up on everything and join her brother.

When Archie Andrews had saved her, and not for the first time. He’d always been saving her, even when they had been bitter enemies in everyone else’s eyes.

Now he was saving her again, urging her to release her past and step forward to her future. 

Could she do it? Could she finally just let go after all this time, all this pain?

She wanted to.

She glanced over at Archie, who was crouching next to her where she had dropped to her knees, his hand hovering just behind her back. His eyes were filled with nothing but love, trust, and kindness, and they watched her every move, the shift of her arms squeezing the dress a little tighter.

It was when she looked at him a second time that she realized, with him by her side, she could release her past. She could let go of it.

She stood slowly, Archie moving with her. Step by step, she moved closer until she approached the rocks overlooking the river, the same ones she had sat on, soaking wet and crying, as the police found her. She held the dress with her left arm and reached her right out towards Archie, needing and wanting his support. 

He took her hand instantly, helping her across the slippery stones, wet with the spray of the river from one of its windier days. When they got to the edge of the rocks, she shrank back against him, terrified of falling. His arms snaked around her waist, holding her securely against him.

“I won’t let you fall. I swear to you.” She nodded silently, unable to form words. 

Her hands were shaking as she slowly extended her arms, holding the delicate white dress over the river, dark as glass and dangerous, the currents capable of yanking someone away quickly. Her eyes fluttered shut, memories of the last time she’d seen her brother alive washing over her. 

The warm, rich summer sunlight pouring over them as they climbed into the old boat. The laughter as he’d regaled her with stories of what him and Polly would be doing at the farm they were planning on staying at for a while. He’d joked that he hoped they wouldn’t have to take care of animals, his lip curled in fake disgust, but she’d been able to tell how excited he was.

“Just let go, Cheryl. I’m right here.” She knew it was Archie’s voice at her ear, his arms around her waist. But for just a moment, she swore she heard it in Jason’s voice, her dear brother here to reassure her one last time. It was with this, with the memory of him smiling and the sound of his voice in her ears, that she released the dress, and with it, the pain of her past. 

She watched as the river claimed it immediately, soaking through the thin fabric and carrying it away from her, carrying her grief with it. She cried again, this time with relief, but the weight of it forced her to her knees,and she let it, crumpling on the ground.

\--

He held her again as she cried, nothing but patient and calm with her. Once she’d calmed enough to stand, she did so slowly, exhausted mentally, emotionally, and physically. She leaned on him heavily as they walked back to the blankets on the ground, her eyes heavy, but her heart a little lighter. 

“Thank you. For being here with me.” He grinned down at her, tipping her chin up to press his lips to hers, warm and comforting. 

“I’ll always be with you. From now until always, I’ll be here. No matter what. I love you.”

“I love you, too. Now, can we sit? I’m tired.” A warm smile lit his face and he laughed slightly.

“As you wish.” 

\--

They sat there, talking over memories of Jason, and as the sky was turning gentle shades of lilac and pink, she fell asleep tucked into his side and wrapped in Jason’s blanket, Archie’s heartbeat lulling her to sleep.

She slept peacefully, memories of sunshine and laughter filling her dreams instead of water and screams.


End file.
